This is the perfect way to sum up my day. I thought about going with the title of Painfully Delightful, but why place the negative first? I am finding that I am becoming more aware of this trait and trying to straighten it out. It’s definitely not easy, but I hearken back to my days as a Special Education teacher and I believe in the importance of stating the positive before the negative…Students with Special Needs; the student always comes first. So as I step from the fog I too am going to put myself and the positive before the negative.
Now back to the Delightfully Painful day. I went out to one of my favorite places today. It’s one of those places where you feel at peace with everything in your life and everything around you. Isolated from the traffic of society and free from the cells of phones. It’s my perfect place; my Utopia.
I should explain something about myself. Before the Fibromyalgia moved in and began trying to grab control of my body, I was a disc golfer. I identified myself as a disc golfer and enveloped myself in the local disc golf community. When the pain and exhaustion took over, I had to leave the game I loved. However, I have made many efforts to not leave that community.
Today was one of those days. A disc golf tournament was being held by some good friends. Knowing that I would know many of the people playing, and since it was being held in my Utopia, I decided to go. I am delighted that I did.
I did get to see those faces I had missed. I got many hugs from old friends of the course. It was great feeling so welcomed back by some of my nutty friends.
Although I was not able to play, and even though the weather was, as I like to put it, perfectly Portland; I did stick it out and watch quite a few people play through. I had a great parking place that overlooked a couple of holes and when the rains set in, I climbed back into my mechanical cave for protection from the elements. I even found cover in an old farm building while I waited out a storm.
Alas, the time had come and my body let me know that it was bored and cold. I listen to my body much more closely these days and let it run the roost; or at the very least have strong input on the decision making. I definitely don’t want to get on its bad side. So here I am, reflecting on the day that was, with smile on my face and, knowing that the pain that is already settling in was worth every single warm, strong embrace I received.
The day was…Delightfully Painful.